Dyspraxia, SPD and the Importance of Friends

Jam is currently 5 years old. 

Jam's best friend, B, was over to play today. Up until a few months ago, when B started kindergarten, they'd been getting together at least twice a week. It helps that they're the same age, have known each other since babyhood, live close and have similar temperaments. They even share some SPD and anxiety traits.

I am so entirely grateful that Jam and B have had each other for these years. They have a lot in common and it's been a mutually beneficial experience.

Something they don't have in common is dyspraxia. Because Jam is dyspraxic and B is not. B runs, B climbs, B is quick and B puts together complete Lego sets in a flash. Jam doesn't do those things. Instead, Jam makes up detailed imaginative play scenarios, Jam uses words and concepts beyond his years, and Jam easily holds his own in conversations with adults. B doesn't do those things. 

And, somehow, they've managed to meet in the middle and have tons of fun playing for hours on end. But, as they've aged, the differences are asserting themselves more and that common middle ground is shrinking.

Add to that a lot less available time in a week for playdates now. B is in school until the afternoon and needs time to decompress afterwards. And it just happens that Jam's therapies schedule has moved primarily to afternoons. We have one weekday afternoon open for playdates. When we first moved to an afternoon appointment schedule, I thought it would be great. Jam does best when he has those first hours in a day to be non-rushed and to just play and do whatever interests him. The cost for that, though, has been a sharp decrease in playtime with B.

And it worries me.

It worries me because I see my son losing his best friend. I see Jam confused that B is not interested in pretending to be super heroes anymore. I see B becoming more impatient with Jam's slow pace in all things. And I see B's frustration that Jam doesn't like playground games. They're losing each other. And I suppose that's to be expected as they get old enough to find and play with friends of their own choosing and not the ones their parents chose for them.

But B, having started kindergarten and skilled in all things athletic, has excellent opportunities for finding new and compatible friends. Jam, a bit less so.

The dyspraxia limits his willing participation in playground games that often involve running, chasing and climbing. He is quickly left behind and excluded. And the SPD affects the places he's willing to go and activities he's willing to do. No loud kid-friendly music concerts. No crowded festivals or fairs or pumpkin patch field trips. Last year, B's parents opted against holding B's birthday party at one of those bouncy house places because Jam didn't want to go.

The thing is that friends are really, really important. Especially for kids like Jam. Long-term outcomes for non-neurotypical kids like Jam show higher rates of depression, addiction, incarceration and suicide. Studies show better long-term outcomes for at-risk kids with successful peer relationships, meaning friends.

Which is exactly what non-neurotypical kids like Jam have challenges with. The making and keeping of friends. Hence the push for building social skills in non-NT kids. The kids who need friends the most have a harder time getting them.

(On a positive note, though, one study suggests that even one close friend influences long-term outcomes beneficially.)

So while Jam is many years away from those long-term outcomes, I keep all of this in mind now. And it influences what we do now. Such as re-arranging our schedules when a last-minute, but exciting social opportunity comes up. And discarding our long-held rule about weekends being reserved for family time only. And thinking up new and fun suggestions for how Jam and B can play together that involves both their interests. And always being on the lookout for ways Jam can meet new friends. And always keeping that one afternoon open specifically for playdates.

All of this takes a lot of work and energy, especially to keep Jam's social needs balanced with our introvert needs. But it's been well worth it so far.

Dyspraxia and Detailed Therapy Costs

Jam is currently 5 years old. 

I thought I had posted this way back in April, but just now saw it sitting in the Draft folder. Which is what I get for not actually looking at my site after I post something- oh well!

Here are the details of our therapy costs in case they're helpful. Though now we're in August and, since then, we've dropped occupational therapy and soccer so our costs are somewhat reduced right now. Though I've already got something else in the works, of course....

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In a recent post about Jam's various therapies and activities, I vowed details on costs and here they are, along with how we manage to afford it:

Occupational Therapy- twice weekly   We are so extraordinarily fortunate to have good insurance coverage. For neurodevelopmental therapy, they cover up to 60 appointments a year until Jam turns 7. Each 50-minute OT session cost is $125 and we pay a $25 co-pay per session. Unlike previous years, this year we won't be paying out-of-pocket for additional sessions past the covered 60 as our therapist is retiring.

Cost: $25 x 60 sessions = $1,500 out-of-pocket annually


Hippotherapy- once weekly   Due to the generally high cost of this service, our therapeutic riding center generously subsidizes every student, bringing our cost down to $115 per 50-minute session.  I'm not even sure any insurance carrier covers hippotherapy. Ours doesn't but it would cover the physical therapy portion of our session (roughly $34) though it would count against our 60 NT appointments a year so we don't run this through insurance.

Cost: $115 x 42 sessions= $4,830 out-of-pocket annually


Integrated Movement Therapy- once weekly   $60 per each 45-minute, one-on-one session.  Definitely not covered by insurance, but worth it.

Cost: $60 x 48 sessions= $2,880 out-of-pocket annually


Soccer- once weekly   Offered through our local community center, sports classes are somewhere between $11 and $18 per class. We may switch up between soccer, tennis and t-ball throughout the year so I averaged it.

Cost: $14.50 x 24 classes= $348 out-of-pocket annually


Gymnastics- bi-weekly    Normally, $6 for a one hour visit. We attend on a very regular basis so I buy the 10 visit punch card in order to get three free visits to bring the cost down.  A great deal!

Cost: $4.62 x 24 visits= $110.88 out-of-pocket annually


Swimming- bi-weekly   Normally, $9.75 per visit up to 5 hours. Like gymnastics, we attend on a very regular basis so I buy the 10 visit punch card in order to get one free visit to bring the cost down. Another great deal!

Cost: $8.89 x 24 visits= $213.36 out-of-pocket annually

So there you have it- about $9,882.00 a year. Or $823.50 a month. Or $190.00 a week. Out. Of. Pocket. And that doesn't even include gas, wear on the car, holiday gifts, etc.  Sigh...

How do we do it?

Well, it's tight. My car is 10 years old. And, being dyspraxic with the attendant sensory issues myself, I loathe everything about shopping. So no shopping for me. (Thank the sibling gods for my sister and her hand-me-down clothing gifts for Jam and me!) Living in the already amazing place that is Seattle, we don't need to vacation a lot and because Jam has such a limited palate right now, we don't eat out much. Also, I recently started back working 10 hours a week at my 'before-Jam' job (which I love!) and it helps a tiny bit. And finally (and most sadly) our dog of 10 years died recently and that freed up a bit of money a month. So there you have it.

I look at this outlay of money right now as an investment against spending more, bigger money down the line. Hooray for early intervention!

If our financial situation changed for the worse and I had to make decisions on what to cut, here's how I would rank our current therapies and activities in terms of progress and value for the money for where Jam is right now:

1. Occupational Therapy
2. Integrated Movement Therapy
3. Swimming
4. Gymnastics
5. Hippotherapy
6. Soccer/ group sport classes

Hope that helps!

Dyspraxia, SPD and Kindergarten Options

Jam is 5 years old.

So Jam is now officially 5 years old and you know what that means- kindergarten time! I'd finally get a few minutes to myself in a day or be able to pick up extra hours at the bookstore or whatever. Endless possibilities!

Except that I knew when we dropped out of preschool way back when that we wouldn't be doing the regular ol' kindergarten thing 'on time'. But still, I like to stay optimistic and informed so I researched options.

Public School

We did that whole IEP thing through our district last fall and that cemented for us what I had already suspected- that we would need to find a better educational match for Jam than our public school system. The class sizes were too big, the available resources too small and Jam wouldn't be able to hack full-time days without amping up his anxiety. And anxious kids already have a hard enough time. Having gone through the public system myself, I knew a major part of his day would be spent fending off sensory chaos and figuring out how to survive until the dismissal bell. And that's a terrible way to spend time.

Which is fine because I'd always wanted to send him to the little private school up the street anyway.

Private School

I fell in love with a neighborhood private school years ago when I tutored some students from there for our library's homework help program. It embodied all of my favorite pedagogical ideas at the time: small multi-age classes, an interdisciplinary approach, differentiated instruction, inquiry-based curriculum. All the right buzzwords. I knew that if I ever had kids, they would be attending this school.

So earlier this year, we went to all the Open Houses and tours and Q and A sessions for the school. We talked to current parents and former parents and teachers. Our OT had even suggested the school as her own son had gone there. I was getting very excited. Sure, we'd have to spend the entire summer prepping a very unprepared Jam for a very long school day. And get his memorization of numbers and letters down pat. And get him writing his name and maybe some sight words. And get the potty-training all finished up. And drop all the therapies at summer's end. There was much to do if I was going to make this work...

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See what was happening there? I was getting way too excited. And way too wrapped up in the idea that I could shove my kid on to a normal schooling timetable and in a normal schooling environment. And then I crashed back to earth and realized that if it was going to take so much work for this to happen, we just weren't ready.

The nail in the coffin?  The last Q and A session where the school director, in response to another parent's question, kept repeating that this was 'not a special needs school'. Well, that sucks. Because I have a special needs kid so....

Redshirting

So if Jam wasn't ready for public or private school, another option would be to just hold him back a year, continue with his therapies, and keep working on some of those kinder skills in the hopes that he'd mature into readiness. And hope that his interest in letters and numbers and reading and writing and being told what to do all day magically appeared. Because it hadn't yet.

(Have I mentioned just how strong-willed my son is? And just how uninterested he is in doing uninteresting things?)

Of course, he did just turn 5. Maybe he just needs another year to get some skills and confidence and interest (and compliance) under his belt before heading out into the world of school. Except that I have a feeling another year isn't going to make much difference for what's going to happen to dyspraxic, dysgraphic, SPD, perfectionist, strong-willed Jam once he gets into a schooling environment. I do know it's not going to be pretty for anyone involved...

Homeschooling

So suspecting strongly that a formal schooling environment was not going to be ideal for Jam, I started to freak out. Like, major freaking out. And, of course, when I'm freaking out about something, I arm myself with information. Lots and lots of information. And there the answer suddenly appeared...

Homeschooling.

And I can't believe it took so long to have this epiphany because I wasn't new to the concept of homeschooling. In library school, about ten years ago, whenever we had papers and projects involving a demographic of people using the public library system, I would always use the homeschooling population. I had done tons of research into various homeschooling methods and styles, resources, local groups, pros and cons, everything. And I still had it all.

And I knew right away I had found the best choice for us.

Dyspraxia, SPD and Discontinuing Occupational Therapy

Jam is 5 years old!

A while back, I wrote here about our dilemma of whether to continue with occupational therapy after Jam's therapist closes her home practice and retires at the end of July. Well, the end of July is fast approaching. And we don't have a replacement therapist lined up. In fact, I've decided it's a good time to end OT. At least for now. Maybe forever. Who knows? I'm a little nervous. But also a whole lot excited.

We've been attending occupational therapy for 2.5 years- that's half of Jam's life! And I mean attending religiously. At minimum once a week, regardless of holidays and vacations. And there's been more than a few long stretches of going twice a week. We initially started doing that because Jam, when younger, was so SPD avoidant and dyspraxic slow and so little was getting accomplished, he needed two appointments a week just to cover one appointment's goals for any hope of progress. Then later, due to preschool anxiety issues, we'd attend semiweekly appointments the month before school started through the month after just to keep him manageably regulated. And now, since our therapist announced her plans to move on, well, we're getting in all the appointments our insurance will let us cram in!

Jam doesn't remember a time before Miss S and visiting her home for work and play. OT has been a huge component of Jam's life. And of mine these past years. So why do I feel now is a natural time to stop?

OT is time-consuming

It's not just the OT sessions themselves that are time-consuming, but the whole routine before and after the sessions. Traditionally, Jam had been very resistant to transitions so we developed a ton of routines around these transitions to lessen his anxiety and increase his comfort level so that he could actually learn things and do things and progress on things. And while Jam doesn't need as many now that he's older, weaning him from some of these routines has been a very gradual process. And he's kept a few of them, like playing in the therapist's outdoor sensory playground for upwards of 40 minutes after each session. By the time we actually get home, it's time for lunch already. Except that Jam usually requires time to transition peacefully from the car to the house and so ends up playing in the car or outside in the yard for another 20 minutes before finally coming in. OT has never been a 'get in, get it done, get out' sort of thing.

We need more unstructured time

I'm always looking for ways to balance Jam's structured activities with his (and my) need for downtime. We have a lot of structured activities/appointments. And this kid is only 5 years old! Breaking from OT now would free up some time. Especially morning time which is Jam's best time of the day. Unfortunately, his 'best time' is also the best time for him to actually be in therapies learning and practicing new skills. Right now, he has four 10am appointments a week. Soon, we'll be down to one.

OT is expensive

Need I say more? And that's with great insurance coverage. Co-pays add up.

I want a turn

I've been attending those OT sessions right along with Jam. I'm in the room. I'm paying attention. I'm doing my research. And Miss S has taught me so much about how to observe Jam and figure out what he's needing and why. She knows we will not be continuing with OT at this point and has spent a lot of time these past months in helping me put together a game plan on how to work with him. I've always had so many ideas of things he and I would love to do to practice his skills if we just had the time. But he's always so tired and with what little uninterrupted free time he actually has, he just wants to play. Because, well, he's 5! And I haven't wanted to take that away from him. I'm really looking forward to getting to spend even more one-on-one time with him.

Priorities shift

Now that Jam has made solid gains in his motor skills and SPD coping strategies, it's a good time to evaluate priorities. One being 'social skills building'. Whereas Jam was initially terrified of kids as a group, now he wants to be around them in social settings and to make friends. A great measure of the progress Jam's made, I now need to make sure those opportunities are available. A bit challenging given our current schedule balanced against his need for downtime.

So discontinuing occupational therapy is not to say that Jam's been 'cured' or that he's 'graduated' out of the need for OT. In fact, I feel that the therapy has gotten Jam on the upward spiral he's been on for awhile now. And it's that upward spiral that is actually enabling us to end formal OT at this time. If that even makes sense.

And it's not like he's dropping hippotherapy or integrated movement therapy or swimming. He's still got a lot of therapy happening. Plus, if I've made some huge mistake and he plateaus or plummets downward, it's not like we can't start OT up again elsewhere. I've got the referral info.

And, above all, I'm realistic. We might be seeking OT again later. Jam's dysgraphia is an issue he and I very well may need assistance with down the line when he's ready to tackle handwriting. Which is not now.

Right now, he's five. And I want him to have some time to do as many five-year-old things as he can.

Dyspraxia, SPD and the Perils of Outdoor Soccer

So here I am writing from a bench at the local community center. I can't believe I signed us up for soccer class again. Especially since one of my goals this summer was to de-structure our structured activities. But the tennis class Jam wanted to take conflicted with hippotherapy and hippotherapy trumps a six-week tennis class. And the basketball class offered is an instructional basketball class and is for the serious kids looking to build real skill. The soccer class not so much. Less formal, more fun and games.

So soccer it is.

I had reservations about signing up, of course. I have reservations about everything. So many variables to consider and weigh. And while I do tend to over-think everything, this time it's warranted. (Yes, I realize I say it's warranted every time!) But this time it really is. Because this quarter the soccer class is outside. On the slightly uneven grass field.  In the full sunny sunshine. And we all know how Jam gets in the sunny sunshine. If you don't remember, you can re-read this. And this. Basically, his brain goes all haywire in the sun. Which is a problem and here's why. There's a lot of filtering to be done out on the field- people riding by on bikes, people walking dogs, kids screaming on the playground, birds chirping, airplanes flying overhead, the breeze blowing. Jam tries to process all of this. SPD kids have trouble filtering. In the sun, he gets hit double-hard, double-fast. The messages his brain sends and receives get all jammed up. And that is especially problematic for the dyspraxic. Because his body needs to send and receive those messages correctly to successfully move, run, kick the ball, and work with the other players. And to navigate that slightly uneven grass field. So I was worried he would be a hot mess all over the field. And it turns out that he is. He's fallen down four times already today. Like, he's literally just standing there not moving and then all of a sudden he face-plants. Like someone pushed him but no one did. It is insane. Fortunately, so far, he doesn't seem to care.

Some days, on bad days, he does care and tries to limit his movements because he doesn't want to 'fall down anymore'. Those days make me a little sad.

So why sign up again? Well, here's the deal. It's the same coach, same location and same informal approach as last time. Which works well for Jam who has, until recently, been very wary of new situations and who still needs lots of repeated exposure to get something automaticized. Since he's done this all before, maybe this time more of it will stick. Plus there's only four other kids in the class (great for my group-phobic son) and the coach is really good about including Jam and breaking down even the basics into step-by-step instructions.

And there's the socialization benefit. This class is specifically for 4-5 year olds and the kids tend to play on the playground after class. It's an opportunity to find new friends. Especially now that Jam's gotten to the point of wanting to play with other kids. But many of the kids around here are heading off to kindergarten in the fall and won't be around anymore. Jam's chances to spend time with kids his own age will likely be decreased. For awhile anyways.

Interestingly, though, soccer class has validated for me that Jam is not ready for the academic kindergarten of today. One, he has a mid-summer birthday so there's that. But watching him in class- he still can't sustain focus and attention for more than 10 or so minutes. And he quickly loses track of what he's supposed to be doing and where he's supposed to be at any given moment. Unless he's doing something highly relevant and personally interesting. Which soccer is not. So what does he do instead?  He names the soccer balls, he makes up new soccer games with lots of complicated rules (since he still doesn't know any of the real soccer rules). He just kind of does his own thing. Which is much more highly relevant and interesting to him. Until the coach realizes he's off track and pulls him back in to the class. I totally get that about Jam because I'm the same way.

Yet he wants to be there. Because, believe me, if he didn't, we wouldn't be. I can think of a million other things I'd rather be doing. Like staring at a beige wall. But he works hard and has a good time doing it. He looks forward to it. And it keeps his body moving. And the one thing I need is for this dyspraxic kid to keep moving.

Dyspraxia, SPD and Passing Up Developmental Preschool

Jam is currently almost 5 years old. 

I'd been hearing about the developmental preschools offered through our local school system since Jam was diagnosed at 2.5 years. But suspecting that Jam, in all his SPD anxiousness, wouldn't fare well in the loud, transition-heavy public school environment, I had written them off early on. Then we decided to discontinue with the cooperative preschool system and a Montessori-inspired preschool.

Jam's occupational therapist recommended pretty strongly that if he were going to go into a formal school environment at some point, he should be in some sort of structured peer environment now. To build up social and classroom navigation skills. Being that he was already 4.25 years old.

Leaving no stone unturned, we finally decided to check out the developmental preschool system. I'd known some parents with kids who had flourished there. But first Jam would need to be evaluated. And evaluated he was. By a nurse, a physical therapist, a speech therapist and a school psychologist. It was uneventful. I listened to the whole thing from the other side of the half wall. No surprises. In fact, after Jam qualified for services, I showed his OT the evaluation and she said they nailed it. With the exception of one big area of concern he didn't qualify on and that was gross motor skills.

Actually, he missed the gross motor services cut-off by .6. That's point six! Maybe he was just having a 'good' gross motor day. And the cut-off has to be somewhere. I get that. But still- .6?!  He did qualify, though, for services in self-help/life skills, social/behavioral skills and, of course, fine motor skills.

And therein lay the first of a few big problems.

Jam really did not care for the physical therapist who administered his evaluation. The same therapist who would be providing him his 15 minutes of physical therapy twice weekly. She was definitely not the warm, joyful type Jam performs well for. At first, I just thought that maybe she put on a stern exterior for testing purposes, but she was the same way in the class I later observed and the same way during the IEP meeting. Just kind of...unhappy. Possibly burnt out- she has a hard job! But I already knew she wasn't going to get much out of strong-willed Jam in the way of cooperation or effort.

Another issue was that class was five days a week. It had been challenging to make it two and three days a week the last go around with preschool. Five days seemed highly unlikely. And we would have had to cancel most other therapy activities to attend. And, unfortunately, class would have been in the afternoons. And for a kid who had just dropped naps on his own two months earlier, afternoons were not his time to shine. Or focus. Or participate. Or learn anything.

Also, looking over the first round of individual IEP goals for Jam, I realized we could probably accomplish the same things on a faster, yet less anxiety-inducing timeline with the personalized, one-on-one attention I could give him.

I think the nail in the coffin, though, was this. Jam has a mid-summer birthday. And it would take a minor miracle for him to be comfortable and ready for kindergarten 'on time'. And the IEP folks were pretty clear about not holding kids back from starting kindergarten 'on time' unless there were extremely compelling reasons. And also that if Jam didn't go to kindergarten in the Fall, he would be too old to continue in the developmental preschool. So we would have transitioned him to this program mid-year for 4 1/2 months of services. Followed by a summer break with no services. And then he'd need to transition elsewhere until he was kindergarten-ready.

It wasn't a hard decision.

I'm glad we went through the process and that the option is available to those that need it. The teachers seem wonderful and caring and the program is most definitely a life-saver for some. But I have no doubt that Jam wouldn't be progressing like he is had we decided to go that route.

It was time to close the door on the idea of preschool.

Dyspraxia, SPD and Montessori-Inspired Preschool

Jam is currently almost 5 years old.

I posted here about a decision we made two years ago to have Jam continue on in his cooperative preschool. In short, a coop preschool with 20 kids and 11 working adults meeting four times a week is not ideal for a dyspraxic, SPD kid. Or, at least, not my dyspraxic, SPD kid. And, honestly, other than playing at one or two activity stations, he was rarely excited to be there.

But, in my goals to 'mainstream' Jam and help him develop those 'societally requisite' social skills, I decided we'd spend another year there. It was too much of a benefit that I could always be in the classroom to help Jam navigate the chaos. You really can't do that anywhere else. A few months in, though, I knew we wouldn't be continuing in the coop system come next fall. It was amping Jam's anxiety and slowing his progress. So when the next 'School Application Frenzy' season opened for fall placement, I toured a Montessori-inspired preschool that I really liked. That seemed like a great match all around.

And I liked it so much, I dropped us out of the coop preschool immediately and moved us to the Montessori-inspired school.

Though it was a mid-year move, the transition went smoothly. Especially for transition-phobic Jam who actually looked relieved when I told him we were leaving our coop. At the new school, I stayed in the class with him for a few days. Then I stayed in the school office for another few days so Jam knew I was at least on the premises. And then, after that, he was fine being left there by himself. The entire approach the school had with Jam, and all the kids really, was very gentle and low-pressure. He had two awesome teachers (one of whom I think he wanted to marry) and his classroom only had 9 other kids and was a small, contained room. Much less chaos for an SPD kid.

It was a perfect school by most standards, yet not perfect enough for our needs. I would often arrive early just to secretly observe Jam in the class or on the playground. He wasn't self-directed at all, choosing to visit only one or two of the various 'work' stations in the Montessori classroom, even when encouraged by teachers to try others. Instead, he spent his time coming up with a thousand and one imaginary games involving the work station manipulatives, but never use them for what they were intended. By the end of class, his eyes would glaze over and while it turned out he was actually paying attention, he would 'appear' as though off in another world. And the playground- well, motor skills not being his thing, he would just wander around aimlessly while all the other kids played chase and climbed on things. Occasionally, on a good day, I'd find him in the sandbox.

And, keeping in mind that class was only for a few hours, he would still need a lot of time immediately afterwards to decompress, just like at our old school. So we'd just eat our packed lunch and walk the grounds having 'adventures' until he was ready to transition to the car to go home for his nap. And as annoying and time-consuming as that decompression time was, it was a necessity to avoid daily afternoon SPD meltdowns.

I was worried Jam was starting to get really run down. Occupational therapy once and twice a week plus three preschool classes a week. Plus play dates and park dates. He wasn't getting enough down-time. And this kid needs so much down-time. We eventually dropped a day at preschool, moving to two days a week, but Jam was just still so tired. Preschool was taking a lot out of him.

When time came to decide on plans for the following year, the year everyone else was doing Pre-K programs in preparation for kindergarten, we chose to not continue with regular preschool.

Instead, I decided to see if Jam would qualify for the school district's developmental preschool program.     Something I'd been avoiding like the plague...

Dyspraxia, SPD & Preschool

Jam is currently almost 5 years old.

Recently, I mentioned that as Jam approaches that age when schooling traditionally begins, I'm getting anxious and panicky. Well, the reality is that I've been anxious and panicky for the past two and a half years since his diagnosis, knowing this time would eventually come. And here it is.

Originally, I had thought that enough early intervention would allow us to mainstream Jam into regular kindergarten and 'on time'. Aahhh, such sweet naiveté...

It was interesting to re-read this post I wrote two years ago about our preschool situation and the decisions we made. 

Lots has happened since then. 

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Originally posted to SPD Blogger Network on June 6, 2011. 

Ugh- this day has finally arrived. Today is the registration deadline to continue with our cooperative preschool program in the fall. I’ve thought about this decision so many times over the school year and I get a headache every single time. But it’s now down to the wire. I need to take a pre-emptive Advil, hand the kid off and figure this thing out.

I live in a big city with an excellent cooperative preschool system run through our local community college. And, believe me, I know I’m fortunate- because the program relies on parents working part-time in the classroom with the teacher (as well as other responsibilities), cooperative preschools aren’t an option for many, many folks. By participating, I even earn quarterly college credit. And the best part is that Jam and I have been able to share this experience together. If we continued, it would be our third year in the co-op system. I think it’s a great program and recommend it to every parent I meet, but I’ve been thinking it might not be the best option for SPD kids. Or maybe just not my SPD kid. 

It was obvious right away Jam was one of those ‘slow-to-warm’, cautious babies so when he turned one I enrolled us in a weekly toddler co-op class hoping the safe and supportive environment would help warm him up to new people and experiences. Other than not leaving my side for more than five minutes during the entire year, he seemed, not great, but OK with it. So I signed us up for the next level for two-years olds. We had even continued through the summer so we wouldn’t have to transition back into the routine, though our new school would be at a different location with a whole new group of kids and meeting twice a week. 

One of the major goals we work towards at the 2-year-old level is for kids to start gaining experience in independence and being on their own in class away from mom or dad so parents work one day a week and drop off the other day. We have three weeks of school left and I was just able to successfully drop Jam off last week. It’s taken 30 weeks to get him here and now we’re getting ready to break for the summer. I’ll have to start over again in the fall with hopefully a much shorter transition period. 

So why did it take so long? Well, our classroom space is great- spacious and bright. Maybe not so great for kids who rely on contained spaces in order to cope with constant sensory assault. And, as you can imagine, the noise level of 20 toddlers plus 11 adults can be epic. Also, those 11 adults rotate every other class which is hard on my consistency-loving child. (Again, just another one of those attempts to predict and control his surroundings.) Plus, with his SPD-related motor delays, he’s pretty wary around other kids, being as ‘unpredictable’ as they can be. And we won’t even talk about the transitions from Free Play to Circle Time to Snack to Playground to Closing Circle. The kid is exhausted by the end of the 2 hour class. Come fall, the classes will be four times a week and 2 ½ hours long!

So why would I do this again? Jam's occupational therapist and I agree that the most comfortable setting for him would be a small, multi-age, in-home daycare; quieter, more constant, more flexible transitions. I don’t know where you live but here demand is much greater than supply. Much. Greater. He’d be in kindergarten before we got called off a waitlist! And the cost for said care? More than I can afford. 

So why put him anywhere? First, he’s going to be 3 soon and we need to continue building his world experience and coping strategies. Second, I’d love to go back to work. When Jam came along, I told my boss I’d be gone for a year. Two years, maximum. And now we’re heading into year three with no end in sight. Have I mentioned that I loved my job? I think I’ve reined in my former workaholic ways, but still, my soul needs to work. And, no, playing ‘Fire Engine Rescue’ and ‘Galactic Explorers’ all day does not count. (Though it is seriously hard work!)

So how have I decided, after all of this, to continue with co-op? Well, familiarity and consistency go a long way with Jam. Our class will be in the same space we’re in now, with the same routine and with at least 12 kids from his current class. There are many parents who already know and care about him. More importantly, I’ll be able to continue watching his progress closely and to support him where he needs help. I feel a bit panicked that in a few short years, he’ll be entering a more traditional setting where I’ll have less input and opportunity. 

So it’s not the best place for Jam. And it’s not the best place for me. But it is the best place for ‘us’. 

Adult Dyspraxia & SPD

I am currently 42 years old.

I write a lot about Jam's dyspraxia and SPD because that's where my mind always is. And, honestly, I don't spend much time thinking about them in regards to myself.  Probably because I've been living with them for so long now that I've developed my own coping strategies, workarounds and compensations over the years.

My own diagnosis is technically informal. After coming across dyspraxia (or, Developmental Coordination Disorder) in my research for Jam, it was so immediately obvious they were talking about me, about every phase of my childhood. I talked at length to Jam's occupational therapist and my own doctor and it was agreed that going through the hoops and expense of testing to get a formal diagnosis would be a waste of time and money unless I wanted to do therapies or get accommodations, which I don't.

I think there are lots of folks in this boat- people who have no idea about their own condition until their child gets diagnosed and the proverbial light bulb clicks on. Do I feel it's worth it to have the label but not the diagnosis? Yes- it's relieved me of many things I grew up feeling were wrong with me. It is an explanation for why things have always seemed harder for me to do than most others. Why some things take longer for me to learn. For why I get so overwhelmed in crowds and chaos. For why I always feel so self-conscious. For why I always get lost. For why I hate last-minute changes in plans. And why I have really ridiculous memory issues.

I would characterize my current level of dyspraxia and SPD as mild in its effect on everyday life. Not everyone in the world has motor and coordination issues, but many have sensory likes and dislikes. It's not Sensory Processing Disorder until it actually interferes with daily living. When I was younger it did and now that I'm older it doesn't. As much. I eventually learned to ride a bike, know my left from right, drive a car, and tolerate water on my face.

I just came to all that stuff really, really late compared to everybody else. Unfortunately, the toll on self-esteem and confidence was pretty big, resulting in high anxiety and compulsive behavior. I feel I have those things pretty much under control now except in times of high-stress. Which is why I go to great lengths to live as low-stress as possible.

These are some of the ways dyspraxia and SPD still affect me:

* I bruise myself daily because I somehow can't make it around furniture or through doorways successfully. Which is why we adhere to the 'minimalist' style of decor.

* I stay especially mindful when handling glass. Because I drop a lot of stuff. A lot of times a day.

* I still have no clue how far away 30 feet is or how tall anyone is.

* I'm so verbally inarticulate, it's crazy. Everything just gets jumbled up. So I try not to talk.

* I still haven't managed to increase my workout weights above 5 pounds. Damn you, hypotonia!

* Once I exit off the I-5 North freeway, I suddenly don't know where 'north' is.

* I can remember 2.5 steps in a list of instructions. If you want me to do something involving three steps, you best write it down.

* My hand still cramps if I have to handwrite more than a paragraph. Thank the gods for computers!

* If you want me to learn something new, you can't just show or tell me how to do it. You have to relay step-by-step instructions as I'm actually do it. And then I have to immediately do it again by myself. This is time-consuming.

* It takes a lot for me to energize and get going. So I try not to stop because it's just so hard to get up and going again.

* What I thought was five minutes passing... was actually fifteen. 

* I still bite my nails when I write. It helps to draw out the tangle of thoughts. Which means I'm biting them right now.

See- that could all be a lot worse!   =)

Tree Fu Tom Reviewed by a Mom with Dyspraxia

Jam is currently 4.75 years old. 

Have you heard of the animated series Tree Fu Tom that started airing last fall in the UK?

Here's the official blurb:

Tree Fu Tom is about the amazing adventures of a young boy called Tom who, with the power of ‘movement magic’ called ‘Tree Fu’, can transform into a tiny but mighty magical super hero and travel to a wondrous enchanted kingdom called Treetopolis that exists in a tree in his back garden.

The series features exercises that have been specially developed to promote movement and co-ordination development in children with dyspraxia and similar conditions.

So, of course, I'm interested. Especially since it's aimed at 4-6 year olds and I've got one of those!

And, of course,  I got so impatient for it to air in the US awhile back that we bought used DVDs from England. But you don't have to because now Tree Fu Tom is playing on PBS Sprouts and Amazon Instant Video and iTunes. We don't have money for fancy cable channels like PBS Sprouts or to pay $1.99 an episode on Amazon or $2.99 an episode on iTunes. So I'll just stick with my used DVDs, thanks.

By now, I've seen the first 13 episodes a million times. Well, really, like four times each. It just feels like a million. But still- that's at least 52 viewings and you'd think I'd have some concrete opinion about Tree Fu Tom by now but I don't.

The graphics are nice. The characters are fine. The stories are cute. I don't really care about that stuff. I care more about it's ability to get my low-energy son motivated and participating in the 'movement magic'- those specially developed exercises for dyspraxic kids.

And I got a bit worried when, after the 24th viewing, he was still just watching the episodes and never engaging in the exercises. I could see why, though.

The initial exercise sequence, where the kids 'turn the magic on' is made up of fast, complicated moves set to electro-beat music. Hell, I can't even follow them! Maybe if they would just cut a few moves, slow the distracting music down and give a little more time between steps, I'd have a chance. Dyspraxics tend to have processing issues and need a little extra time to think and execute between moves.

The rest of each episode's exercise sequences involve the kids creating 'Big World Magic' to help Tom solve some problem. These are better. There are fewer steps and they're good ones- crossing the midline, stretching, balancing and all sorts of uncomfortable stuff for dyspraxics. But made fun! And the timing between moves is just right- enough time to mentally process the next step and physically do it, but at a challenging pace. And, most importantly, they run through the sequence twice. Repetition is key in the world of dyspraxia!

Now there was one episode in particular, "Fungus Among Us", that Jam would just watch over and over intently. (Lord, if I never see that episode again....)   And with Jam, there is always a method to his madness. There's a reason for everything he does. And I began to suspect that he was just watching the moves over and over and trying to lock them in his mind before attempting them in the real world.

And sure enough, one day he climbed off the couch and starting doing them. Not perfectly or smoothly or refined in any way because, well... he's dyspraxic. And he's four. But it was very awesome! And now when the show's on, he jumps around and performs "movement magic" with Tree Fu Tom. And he has a good time doing it.

So, all in all, it appears Tree Fu Tom has been a success in our home. It pairs well with one of my favorites,  Bo on the Go, which we watch through Netflix and which does a great job at getting kids moving and doing simple, fun sustained exercises for improved skills and increased stamina and endurance.

By the way, here's a relevant article. It's called "How Tree Fu Tom Can Help Children with Dyspraxia".

Good News, Bad News and a Dilemma

Jam is currently 4.75 years old

So at today's therapy session, I got some good news and some bad news. And now have a dilemma.

I'm a 'bad news first' kind of girl, so here goes...

The bad news is that Miss S, the occupational therapist Jam has been seeing since being diagnosed over two years ago, is closing her private practice and moving across the country. The end of July is the end of therapy with Miss S.

Super sucky for us. Super awesome for her. She's spent 30 years in her field and wants to do something new. And she deserves it. And I'm genuinely very happy for her.

Still...

I was really hoping she would be around when it came time for my sweet little dyspraxic, dysgraphic, left-handed boy to learn handwriting. Because, due to my own dyspraxia and crazy spatial issues, I'm not sure how a strongly right-handed person such as myself is going to be able to do it. Thankfully, it's a little ways off.

The good news, on the other hand, is that I finally got a small sliver of validation for the work I've done in developing Jam's new motor skills-focused therapy strategy. Jam's been doing really well and making huge progress on so many fronts over the past year. And part of that strategy was to drop him out of preschool. Not a popular decision with some, including Miss S, who is a strong proponent of early education for social skills development, especially for special needs kids.

Given his dyspraxia and SPD, the problem for us was twofold: 1) Jam needs a lot of downtime to operate well and, with his new schedule, there wasn't enough time for everything, and 2) he'd already been experiencing high anxiety and stress in preschool settings over the past two years. And that high anxiety and stress would carry itself over into everything.

So, for me, it wasn't a hard decision. School had to go for now so that maybe he could handle and enjoy it more in the future.

And today Miss S. told me she thought I'd made a really smart decision a year ago in pulling him from school. That she saw the results that came from reducing his anxiety load and allowing him to spend more of his energy on learning to use his brain and body. Yeah!

And now for the dilemma.

Being the awesome OT that she is, she's using the next two months evaluating and placing her clients. Finding them new, well-matched services for their needs. So, of course, she asked me if I wanted referrals for two therapists, in particular, she felt would work well with Jam.

And I hesitated. Because I'm not sure, at this point, it'd be worth continuing with a new therapist. Or... not that it wouldn't be worth it, but that we could spend our limited supply of time and energy trying something else beneficial.

So I took the referral contact info and, waiting lists in this city being what they are, I should probably figure something out soon.

Dyspraxia, SPD and a Child's Work

Jam is currently 4.75 years old

Traditionally, it's been put forth that a child's work is to go to school. But my son does not go to school. Instead, Jam's week is filled with various formal and non-formal therapies like OT, swimming, hippotherapy, gymnastics, yoga, etc. All of these, together with his regularly scheduled playdates with a few good friends, make up his week. And this week makes up his schooling. And while swimming and gymnastics and yoga all sound like great fun, in actuality, it's also a lot of hard work for him.

When Jam was younger, I referred to his occupational therapy appointments as 'play' because, from his point of view, that's what they were. Lots of fun and games. And, back then, I was still trying to get buy-in from him. Today, it still is fun and games. But as he's gotten older, I've been making the shift to praise him for all of the effort and energy he puts into his 'work'. His 'work' at therapy, at the pool, at the playground.

"You've been working so hard!'

"You did amazing work at Miss S's today!"

And here's why-

I want him to see that work can be fun. Too often, 'work' carries a negative connotation- that it's, by definition, not fun, certainly not to be enjoyed and not something we'd be doing if given a better choice. That's not an association I want Jam to make, especially as a dyspraxic and given that he's going to be working hard at many things for much of his life.

I also think that using the word 'work' helps get Jam in the mindset that, while much of his life is pleasant and fun, there are also times when he needs to focus and put in serious effort because, in the end, we're spending all of this time and energy trying to accomplish something very serious.

And, lastly, by acknowledging all of the time, energy and effort that he puts in-  I want him to recognize that what he is doing is hard work and that it is legitimate and real and that he should be proud of himself. To call it anything else would be to dishonor him.

Dyspraxia and Best Resources

Jam is currently 4.75 years old

As well as being a dyspraxic mom parenting a dyspraxic kid, I also happen to be a research junkie. And I have a big ol' fancy expensive Master's Degree in Library and Information Science to back that up. I have hundreds of sites evaluated, categorized and periodically reviewed for dozens of topics of interest. And, of course, one of those topics of interest is dyspraxia.

Much of what's available online is the general 'introduction to dyspraxia' stuff- what it is, symptoms, treatments, all that. Easy to find and very basic. If you're here, though, I'm sure you've found all of that stuff on your own already.

What I want to share are a few resources that have been exceptionally valuable to me by offering more details and in-depth info specific to dyspraxia.

CanChild Centre for Childhood Disability Research - out of McMaster University in Ontario, Canada, the CANChild site offers an amazing amount of solid information on Developmental Coordination Disorder (Dyspraxia), including research, measurables and printable educational materials for parents, educators and service providers. Another place to start is this online presentation. There's so much here I can't even break it down. I practically bookmarked every single page of the site. Plus, the layout is nice and easy to navigate.

Skills for Action- this is the site of a physiotherapist in Cape Town, South Africa with many years of experience. And she happens to go into detail about everything I'm interested in- dyspraxia, low muscle tone, the highly sensitive temperament, SPD and handwriting. And she includes many practical, useful ideas. The information presented here is what directly led me to switching our therapies focus from SPD to motor skills.  

University of Hull- Understanding Dyslexia and Dyspraxia- this is a pdf available online and geared towards incoming Hull students. Focusing on the cognitive aspects of dyspraxia, it discusses, in detail, typical strengths and weaknesses, especially in terms of learning style. A major find, this is one of my favorite resources. 

OT Mom Learning Activities- created by a former pediatric occupational therapist who specialized in learning disabilities and sensory modulation disorders. She's got so much here I've ended up bookmarking dozens of pages. Coordination, midline, fine motor skills, gross motor skills, SPD and handwriting. And she does a great job of explaining what all of these things are and why they're important. And she includes a ton of activities (with photos) that my kid will actually do because they look like fun and games. Which they are!

dysTALK- this site covers many of the 'dys' conditions- dyspraxia, dyslexia, dysgraphia, etc.  Many articles and short videos by experts (such as Amanda Kirby) plus community forums. And everything is separated out by the specific learning difficulty making for easy navigation. 

Learning Challenges Board at The Well-Trained Mind Community Forum- it is insane how much I've learned through the collective knowledge of parents at this forum. Information really hard to find elsewhere. Just do a keyword search within the forum for 'dyspraxia', 'dysgraphia', 'processing speed', 'memory', 'executive function' or what have you and plan to spend some time. I've lost many, many hours of sleep perusing this forum. 

My Experience of Dyspraxia- a girl named Izzy writes a post about her experiences growing up with mild developmental dyspraxia. What it affected, how she fared in school and where she is now. Her writing style is accessible and what she wrote resonated with me. A useful read if you're interested in what challenges may lie ahead for your kid. This was hard to find and I'm glad I did.

Mothering the Nuances- this is a blog about a young son's diagnosis of dyspraxia, hypotonia, etc. There are only 21 posts, ending in December 2011 which is really too bad. I normally wouldn't include a blog not currently being maintained but she has a great writing style and talks a lot about her son's schooling experiences which I am always interested in.

Sensational Kids: Hope and Help for Children with Sensory Processing Disorder by Lucy Jane Miller-   This is actually a book, not a site, but I included it because it's an important book. While there are a number of books out there focusing on SPD they don't often include much specifically on dyspraxia. This book discusses dyspraxia a lot and offers much in the way of strategies at home, at school and in the community. If your kid is dyspraxic, this is THE book.  (Note: I linked to the Amazon listing solely for the purpose of looking at customer reviews (like reverse 'showrooming'. This is most likely available through your library. Or, if you're poor like me, try to buy it used. Or please consider supporting your local independent bookstore.)

Lastly, because I'm always interested in the latest research, etc, every few months, I'll check with my local library's online health databases, like PubMed and Proquest Family Health using keywords like 'dyspraxia', 'developmental dyspraxia' and 'developmental coordination disorder'.  Jam is not on the autism spectrum but I've often found interesting research on autism with dyspraxia as a co-morbidity so I try to use a broad scope when searching. The information is still valuable. 

Dyspraxia, SPD and Worrisome Things I Don't Worry About

Jam is 4.75 years old

It sounds crazy but if I had to have a kid with dyspraxia I am so glad to have it myself. It may seem counter-intuitive because, being dyspraxic, I am a bit prone to fear and anxiety and could worry myself sick about Jam and his prospects and all that. But I don't.

I don't because I know he's going to be fine. And I know he's going to be fine because I'm fine and he's getting a lot more help and support that I ever did.

Here are some concerns specific to dyspraxia and SPD that I'm not concerned about:

Limited food palate-   Like Jam now, there wasn't much I willingly ate when I was young. On top of that, I had a bunch of food habits that would drive my mom up a wall, like only eating one thing on my plate at a time and moving my plate clock-wise when it was time to move to the next food item. (OCD, anyone?) I'm not sure why it bothered her so much but, as a result, my mom would always threaten to put my food in a blender and mix it all up and make me drink it unless I started intermingling the bites of food on my plate. On top of that, there was always the 'you're not leaving this table until you finish your…..' business. Everything had to be eaten no matter how long it took. And it could take a long, long time. Meals were, obviously, filled with anxiety and power struggles.

It wasn't until after I'd grown up and moved away that I started trying new foods. On my own, when I was ready and with no pressure. And now I love eating most everything. I'd like this to happen for Jam a lot sooner than it did for me so we don't use a lot of coercion in our house where food is concerned. He's got enough healthy items in his repertoire that he's not malnourished. It will be easier for him to overcome the mental blocks regarding new food smells and textures when he's older. And that's good enough for me right now. 

Weight-   Jam has always been a solid, heavy guy. He was born 5 weeks early but measured in at a normal birth weight so they let us go home the next day. And now that he's eating more readily, he's only gotten more solid and more heavy. To the point that his pediatrician says he's in the 80th percentile. It's not the number of calories being taken in, it's the number of calories not being burned off due to low energy. There's not a lot of energy left over when you use it all up doing regular day-to-day things.  

Don't worry, though- the pediatrician's not concerned and is not recommending any course of action. And I'm mostly not worried either. I was a chunky monkey myself. Not to the point of obesity or poor health or anything. Just on the heavier side. I see Jam's round 'buddha belly' in all of my own baby photos. But then puberty kicked in and I slimmed down. And now I rock a bootcamp-style fitness class 4 times a week.

(I will admit, though, to stealthily portioning and limiting Jam's much-beloved pasta and bread!)

Posture-   The constant nags of 'Sit up!' and 'Stop slouching!' still ring in my ears to this day. But it never had more than a minute's impact back then. It just was not possible for me to hold straight posture for more than a minute. You know what did last more than a minute? The years of constant criticism chipping away at self-esteem. That habitual feeling that everything about me was wrong and that I couldn't do anything good enough- including stand up straight. 

Don't worry- my posture improved as I aged and got stronger. And so did my self-esteem! 

Jam, of course, also slouches, especially while floor sitting and he also has always carried his shoulders up by his ears. (I think he was really scrunched in the womb!) It's all improved slowly as he's gotten stronger but when he's really tired or stressed, those shoulders start upwards again. Sometimes, I'll bring his attention to it- how those 'wily shoulders of his are trying to climb into his ears again' and he'll laugh and relax a bit. No nagging or pointed looks of disapproval. Of course, I want his posture to improve and it will, but I'm not going to subtly beat down his confidence over it.

Tip-Toeing (or Toe-Walking)-  It used to be that tip-toeing, in and of itself, raised all sorts of scary red flags. I used to tip-toe a lot as a kid and still do sometimes- the sensory input feels good. Jam still does it occasionally but I don't freak out. In fact, it seems to coincide with his developmental leaps which makes sense and is a good thing. 

I also don't worry about if Jam will ever someday learn to ride a bike or drive a car. They weren't easy for me to accomplish but they did happen and I'm thinking up ways that might make it easier for him. More in line with how his body works and how his brain learns.

He'll progress on his and in his own time. Until then, no worries here!

Dyspraxia, SPD and Things We're Not Going to Try (But Probably Should)

Jam is currently 4.75 years old

Recently, I posted on some things I'd heard about for a long time and eventually tried with success. But there are also some things I've heard all sorts of good things about that I'm not going to try. At least not now and maybe not ever.

I promise I'm not just trying to be controversial- these are big ideas in the SPD world and many people have tried these things with great success. And yet I've never been compelled enough to attempt them.

And here's why: these things are too organized, too formal, and too much work. And dyspraxics already work harder and get tired faster. One of the most important things a dyspraxic can do is learn when to expend and when to conserve their energy. And these things take a lot of energy.

Sensory Diets-   I've known all about sensory bins and sensory activities for over two years now and I confess I never made them a focused part of our day. The sensory bins- they just seemed like a lot of work with all the planning and acquiring of sensory items and rotating and dedicating time to play with them. And all the sensory exercises and activities- well, they were all just things my kid would fight tooth and nail to not do and I was not really into amping my kid's stress levels more than I had to since they were already pretty amped. And, finally, I've got big perfectionist tendencies but tempered by acute self-awareness. I'd want to do an awesome and perfectly organized job of it using some well-researched prescribed method I picked up somewhere in a book and I knew I'd never follow through on that long-term.

So I didn't even bother. Instead, I came up with my own low-stress version of a sensory diet- play a lot with a lot of things and some sensory stuff is bound to get in there somewhere. I mean, it's all 'sensory' anyway, right? I do think, though, that if Jam had been a sensory seeker rather than a sensory avoider, I would have made this more of a priority.  But now that he's older, he's coming out of his avoider behavior on his own terms. It's just taking some time. Which is fine because he's four and time is what we have right now.

Listening Therapies-   Too expensive, too complicated, too time-consuming. We've done a tiny bit of  listening therapy with our occupational therapist and only very sporadically. Very seldom with headphones, it's mostly music through the office speakers while Jam's working on gross motor skills. He seems very easily affected and has said he prefers to not listen to music while playing at home because it distracts his brain from playing. Plus I didn't want the twice-daily battles of keeping the headphones on for 30 minutes. The kid won't even wear a hat. So we just never did it. Maybe when he's older. It's a bit scary how manipulative the music is to his brain. So maybe never.

Food Diets-   Aaahhh, food diets. Gluten-free, casein-free, additive-free, sugar-free. It is so over-whelming I'm getting a headache already. Especially when food has been a huge issue in this house since the day Jam was born. We're finally at a place where he has food he'll eat. It's not a super huge  variety of food and it's a bit heavy on the carbs and it's not often he'll add a new ingredient and he's still very texture sensitive but we'll get there. I'm not too worried because I was exactly the same way when I was young and now I eat anything.

Still, I can't ignore the mounting evidence showing a connection between gut flora and dyspraxia, SPD and other conditions. I think maybe possibly trying the GAPS diet might be in our future but not anytime soon. Maybe when he's a bit older and better able to understand what we're doing and to willingly participate. And, again, if he had been a sensory seeker I might have considered this more of a priority.


Jam is on an upward spiral right now in increasing his motor skills and decreasing his SPD issues. Who's to say we wouldn't have reached this point earlier had we devoted the time, money and energy to the things above. There's no way to know. What I do know is that the path we've taken seems to be working while keeping his anxiety levels down and keeping his self-esteem up and that's how I'm measuring success these days.

Dyspraxia, SPD and Things I Wish I'd Tried Sooner

Jam is currently 4.75 years old

(disclaimer: I'm not 'selling' or recommending any brand in particular and do not link out to product pages or online stores. Specific product brands are only included to provide more detailed information towards our experience.)

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There is no end to the therapies and treatments and products that try to help, heal and 'cure' our kids. Even if I had an endless supply of time and money, it'd be impossible (and unwise) to try them all.

Below are a few things that I'd been hearing about for a long time and eventually decided to try:


Fish Oil-   nine months ago we started using Nordic Naturals 3-6-9 Liquid (regular, not the junior version!) and I mix it with Jam's morning orange juice. It helped that he hadn’t been given a lot of sweet drinks prior so he was enthusiastic about getting OJ daily. I started with a small amount of the oil because, while it's lemon 'flavored' and citrus-y smelling, you can tell it's not straight up OJ. He's sensory-defensive and not into trying new things so after he got used to it, I slowly increased the dose up to one teaspoon. (It's something of a mega-dose based on this research.) If I try to give him more, he detects it and won't drink. I also give it to him in a plastic opaque cup with a lid so he can't see inside. He wouldn't drink it if he saw that oil floating on top. It's not ideal- the plastic cup retains some fish smell since it's used daily so I just soak it in a vinegar/baking soda mix once a month to leach the smelly oil out. And finally, I don't give him OJ any other time so he can't compare the difference in taste. When we started, I decided to take it alongside Jam to see if it did anything for my dyspraxia. It took about 8 weeks to notice anything with Jam and I have to say my brain felt like it was processing a bit faster. Jam seemed to have more energy and coordinate his movements better. But who knows if it's the oil or something else? I’m not making any scientific claims here. Nevertheless, we continue using it.

Gum-   Jam started chewing gum when he was three. After our therapist recommended it, I was reluctant, because, well, it’s gum and he was three. But, at the time, he refused to wear anything other than rain boots and was in the habit of taking his boots off and chewing on the bootstraps when he got anxious about anything. Which, back then, was everything. And those bootstraps are made of toxic plastic- I don't even want to think about the poisons he was ingesting! We spent a fortune on all manner of chewelry with no luck and eventually decided to give gum a try. He took to it instantly and, being an overly cautious kid, quickly grasped the concept that swallowing gum was not a good idea. (He has maybe swallowed 5 pieces in his history with gum and they were all accidental.) Chewing gum seems to lessen his anxiety, help him to focus and allow him to organize his movements better. We used it to get him through the chaos that was preschool (back when we were still going) and whenever we went anywhere crazy to the senses. We don’t limit his use and he has full access to it whenever he wants. Due to the amount he goes through (which has lessened considerably over the years), we use Spry, which is xylitol-sweetened. Which his dentist is happy about because apparently it inhibits cavities, as well.

Heel-less Socks-   I didn’t try these for a long time because they’re hard to find locally and they’re expensive. Big bucks for some little socks! Jam’s therapist finally took pity on us and gave him a sample pair she had stashed away. Or maybe she just got tired of working with him when trying to get his socks and shoes on at the end of each session. He was already tired by then and the stamina and motor planning it takes to put on socks and then shoes is exhausting.  So it was a battle each and every time. She gave him a pair of SmartKnitKIDS knee highs and he easily slips them on because there’s no heel to find and adjust and now he has enough energy left to get shoes on by himself without resistance.  And now I spend money on expensive socks that, while they shrink quickly, are totally worth it!

Visual timer clock-    Until recently, Jam had always had a rough time with transitions (of course, like so many SPD kids). I became a master of the 15 minute ‘heads up’, followed by the 10 minute heads up and finishing with the 5 minute heads up. And half the time, even with all those opportunities to mentally prepare, he’d freak anyway. His therapist started using the visual clock so he could see how much time was left in the session and also for when he was working on things he didn’t really want to, like anything involving holding a crayon or touching glue or cutting with scissors. It seemed like a good idea, but those clocks are expensive. I eventually caved and got the 8” Time Timer and it’s worked well for what we need.

So again, I’m not making any claims that these things will work for anyone else- only that they’ve worked with some degree of success for us. And who's to say it's not a result of aging, sleep, diet or something? All I know is I'm sticking with them for now.

Dyspraxia and Our Current Therapies

Jam is currently 4.75 years old

About a year ago when I fully realized that both Jam and I had dyspraxia and knowing, from personal experience, that the effects would be lifelong, I immediately moved our therapy focus from sensory issues to motor skills. Don't worry- the sensory issues are still being worked on and are coming along nicely, because, obviously, this is a condition that needs to be treated holistically, but I view our therapies through the motor skills lens now. Since then, we've seen big improvements in both his motor and sensory issues.

Jam's current schedule is this:

Occupational Therapy- twice weekly  For the first year of OT, we went once a week with quarterly goals towards sensory defensiveness, gravitational insecurity and body awareness. As he's aged (and building on the progress of the first year), he's gained some muscle tone and flexibility (in body and, more importantly, in mind) so now we're able to work at a higher level of gross and fine motor control and spend more time on his major challenge, motor planning. He loves going to his therapist's house to 'play' and always has.

Hippotherapy- once weekly   Physical therapy on a horse! Great for strengthening core muscles, improving muscle tone, balance, coordination and motor planning. Fortunately, Jam's taken to it more than I thought he would. I even gave him the choice of opting out during his therapist's maternity leave but he wanted to continue.

Integrated Movement Therapy- once weekly   A yoga-based therapy approach, in it's infancy as a treatment. Great for sensory integration, sequencing, body awareness & strengthening, as well as increasing stamina and endurance. I'll be honest- Jam loves his teacher but until recently fought against going because it's hard work. Fun, but hard work. That kid is sweating when he's done.

Soccer- once weekly   A 30 minute class for 3-4 year olds offered through our local community center. It's so low-organized it's a bit generous to call it an actual soccer class. But it's Jam's only small group activity that he gets to be around other kids with. The 'coach' is great and it's right next to the playground for afterwards. And, while Jam may be amongst the oldest in the group, his skills and stamina are in the middle. And that's only for the first half of the class- after 15 minutes, he gets lost as to what he's supposed to be doing and kind of tunes out. But it's obvious he's having a good time!

Gymnastics- bi-weekly   This isn't a formal gymnastics class, per se. Our local gymnastics academy offers an hour-long indoor playground daily where 5 and unders can use their equipment with adult supervision. So Jam just moves around jumping on trampolines, going through obstacle courses they set up and trying to get out of their giant foam block pit. More sweaty hard work. It can be a bit loud and chaotic (not great for SPD kids) depending on who shows up, but we just decompress with snack and books in the car afterwards. Even though we live 2 miles away and could just as easily go home. He seems to need that immediate decompress time.

Swimming- bi-weekly   Like gymnastics, this isn't a formal swim class. We just go to the community center pool on a weekday when most kids are in school and 'swim' around for a few hours. It's a great warm water pool with a sectioned-off shallow area for the young kids and also a looped area with a current so he can just float along with a safety vest. And it's taken a year to even get to the point of wearing a vest. And for him to not be overstimulated afterwards. Actual swimming classes are much further down the line, if ever. But in the meantime, the water has been great for sensory integration, improving muscle tone and muscle development.

This doesn't even include at least three weekly trips to various playgrounds to practice those motor skills and two playdates a week to practice those social skills. (The kid's got to have some regular kid fun!)

Sound like a packed schedule?  It is. Especially for a highly sensitive, introverted kid who needs a lot of downtime. Fortunately, to Jam, it's all fun and games. Preschool used to be added to the mix and got dropped (at his request). And originally he was doing both gymnastics and swimming weekly but he was really wiped out by the end of the week so we switched to trade them off bi-weekly. I also stopped dragging him along on errands like grocery shopping and the library (both of which he, as an SPD kid hates going to) in order to increase his downtime at home. We've constantly adjusted around Jam's abilities and energy levels to get to the right balance we have now.  But those are always changing.

Sound like an expensive schedule?  It is. Each day I remember how fortunate I am to be in a situation where I can be at home with Jam and also take advantage of the great variety of therapies and activities available to us. But I'll be honest, it is expensive.

Next time, details on therapy costs!

Dyspraxia, SPD & Beginnings

Jam is currently 4.75 years old

Just as it probably was for you and yours, I could tell something was up with Jam pretty early on. But he was passing all of his developmental milestones within the expected timeframes (barely, but still). And being born five weeks premature, I expected he was going to take some time to 'catch up'. Still, I had that niggling feeling in the back of the brain there...

So before his 2.5 year wellness exam, I put together a list of Jam's 'quirky' behaviors- mostly sensory stuff and some motor things- and I did some preliminary research on the internet. (Being dyspraxic, I just really like to come prepared and to know what to expect with anything new- no surprises for me, thanks!) It didn't take long before 'sensory processing disorder' popped up. And it didn't take long afterwards for the pediatrician to look at that list and reach the same conclusion. So off we went with our evaluation referral in hand and then on our merry way to begin occupational therapy.

I've always been pretty good at this diagnosis stuff and with the Sensory Processing Disorder confirmation, I was feeling very good and confident. I thought with strong and early intervention we'd be able to quickly manage this SPD business and mainstream Jam by kindergarten. I'd filled in a big piece of the puzzle that is Jam. But it turned out I was missing an even bigger piece.

When Jam took the Peabody Developmental Motor Scales test as part of his evaluation, he was assessed as being a full year behind his peers in gross and fine motor. But I didn't freak out- we'd been working on both the sensory and motor components in therapy. In fact, I remember feeling that the therapist was focusing a little more on the motor and should have been focusing more on the sensory. My thinking was, 'fix the sensory and the motor would follow'. And that's what I focused on at home, too.

So after a year of occupational therapy with solid but slow progress, I realized that this 'SPD business' wasn't just going to magically resolve itself by the time kindergarten rolled around. I'd also been getting the feeling that there was something more going on. So back to my trusty computer I went. And pretty quickly found the term 'dyspraxia'. And as I was reading, the proverbial light bulb clicked on. Except I forgot all about Jam and his issues and realized the page was talking about me. About my childhood. And that it wasn't something Jam was going to 'grow out of'.

My first order of business was to go back through that initial fifteen page evaluation. There'd been lots of big words and test results around motor skills, but there it was on page 5- "dyspraxia". I'd somehow missed it. Or dismissed it, favoring the SPD diagnosis.

My second order of business was to completely overhaul the approach we'd been taking, now with a strong focus on motor skills and motor planning. Weekly occupational therapy, physical therapy, swimming and gymnastics. And that's when we finally started to see big changes.